Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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