You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
