Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
