I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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