I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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