you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
