So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
