I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I need water and some morals
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize