She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
