I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
