lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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