i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
