i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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