Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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