oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize