so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
