Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Drake has all the answers
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
