Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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