shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
3pm strippers are depressing
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
