Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
