i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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