I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
