we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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