I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
