I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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