awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
