AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
now i know why i became what i already was.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
