Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
