Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
