She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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