Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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