If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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