I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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