The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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