just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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