Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
