just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
