ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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