i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
