My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
