Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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