if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
