This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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