shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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