she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize