Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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