btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
