If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize