I want to stick my p in your. b.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
