did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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