i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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