He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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