We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize