Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
