I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
