is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
