Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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