Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
