it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
