Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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