Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
