I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
